The MegaMillion Owner

So, you won $640 million in the Mega Millions. Congratulations.

Thanks to a PR blitz and instant celebrity, your purchase of the San Diego Padres for $612 million has been quickly approved by MLB owners and Bud Selig.

What's the first thing you do as new owner of the San Diego Padres? I asked Twitter and Facebook for some ideas. Their thoughts:

- Huge Dubstep Party on the infield. (No word on whether this was during a game or not. If during the game, the dancing groundskeeper is going to be psyched.)

- Bring back the home plate and wave logo.

- Bring back the brown. (Of course.)

- Multiple responses for bringing in the fences. (Even more predictable.)

- Craft beer in all concessions.

- Providing the Swinging Friar the luxurious life he deserves. (I'm as pro-Friar as possible. I applaud this idea.)

But perhaps my favorite, and let's be honest, the most truthful came from Woe, Doctor!:

@LeftCoastBias If somebody replies w/anything other than "pencil myself in as an Opening Day starter" they're lying.

— Woe, Doctor! (@woedoctor) March 30, 2012

As for me, well, I don't know if I'd want to take the mound. Though my 57 MPH "fastball" would keep hitters off balance. For about 3 minutes. But I wouldn't mind taking a few cuts in a Spring Training game ala Billy Crystal.

I'd also get to do the play-by-play whenever I wanted. And probably screen The Dark Knight on the Jumbotron. And buy the Delorean from Back to the Future and use it as the bullpen car.

You know, normal stuff.

What would you do?